Finding Yourself…Why So Difficult?!

I came back to Germany with super determined mind of finding and doing those things that I wanted or felt that were left undone. Now I’m here and feel extremely lost… I have these fragments of ideas in my head of what I want to do but then it stops…

On monday my Half Marathon training started and even though I was running everyday on December, this is different. It’s not only running a lot, it’s running with a plan and some structure. For me, as I have been running mostly with a feeling this is a new and little confusing thing, but easier than finding myself and figuring what to do.

I have dreams of studying but what and where and how?! I am terrified of studying as I have always been super bad at it, partly because of my dyslexia but also because I don’t think I believe in myself enough to start something like that.

I’ve always sucked at starting something and following it through, and now I’m almost 30 and feel more like some 16 year old trying to figure out what to do when I grow up…

I have plans and hopes, like start my own running crew (it’s already kind of going to that it’s on way), then I wish to make this blog as good so that I could maybe make money with it, study running coaching and nutrition, runrunrun and run, be Undoordinary Girl. I think deep down inside I just wish to be someone that could help others in their journeys, like I have gotten from so many on my journey.

Fear is a killer and I’m realizing it again and again…

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