This morning I woke up feeling really fluy, felt annoyed because I actually have a job that I like to go to and now I knew that I have to rest.
After I send a message and informed of the situation, I instantly started feeling guilty. Why?!
This is not a new feeling for me. I’ve had that almost always, like it’s the biggest crime to be all of sudden sick and not being able to do something. Getting sick is something, after all, that I can’t do anything about. Sometimes we just get sick, that’s it. But why guilt?
I also know that I’m not the only one who feels like this, I’ve actually talked about this with friends lately.
I definitely feel guilty because I feel that I let someone down. But then again I would not be in any help or use if I would work while being sick… Or when I’m sick I feel like I need to do something, clean up, organize, anything but actually rest and get better. That shit is hard!
Though this time I also felt this new thing in me, I was tired of feeling guilty for something I can’t change and which I shouldn’t feel guilty in any way! That was new and I have to be honest, I liked that spunk in me!
Though I had to ask for help to not feel guilty from a friend ;). But the change was there and that makes me happy.
Getting sick after all that’s been going on in the past few months is actually kind of normal. I have been riding on this high of good and bad and just pushed myself forward with sometimes no gas in me whatsoever. Now, my whole being is just saying “calm down, we need to rest, mind and body and you too!”. So thank you, thank you for stopping me.
I think that we all need to take a step back if we feel guilty in a moment like this, why do we feel that, is there any reason for that and how could we stop feeling like that.
For me these are the answers to those questions. I felt guilty because the old me thought that I am letting my boss down. I had no reason for that because I did all I could to help the situation and informed about it all as soon as I noticed it. I had to say to myself that I have done nothing wrong and that there’s nothing wrong with staying in bed when sick, it’s actually smart and makes me a person who listens to my body. 🙂
So from now on, I will try to be a bit nicer to myself and rest when it’s needed.