From Then To Now

Lately I’ve been thinking how I’m able to keep pushing on these days, when I’ve had so much changes and lost so much in such a small amount of time.

There are times in life when you just want to say I can’t anymore, before I would’ve just given up and fallen into my depression hole. Now after two years of change, I don’t seem to give myself any chance in doing that these days. Which is really nice thing to notice, but there are days when all the positivity and energy is a bit lost and I just have to try to keep pushing, even though I have no interest in that all.

The first thing I was thinking the last time I got a blow to my life, was that I have to run. I have to do that. I knew that if I run, I will feel a little better, and I’m able to get my head a bit clearer. I have to let the running heal me and ease that pain.

And I was thinking that I have to remember why I started running, to get that anxious and sad energy out and try to not give up. I need to show how strong I truly am now, not let my pain suck me backwards because I’ve worked SO hard to be where I am now. I don’t have time to give up, too much good going on to just let it all fall. I have a bloody Ultra to run in less than two months!

Before I didn’t obviously know it, but I used the pain in me as a fuel, and that’s what I need to do now too.


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