If you’ve been reading this blog, you know that it’s been a bit of a struggle at times for me to see me in a positive and supportive way. We all have issues, in our body or mind, that bothers us. Mostly they are useless bullshit, to be honest. If we feel shitty about ourselves, it’s usually just some deep rooted insecurity that tries to kick our butts in believing that we suck… Well, I think it’s time to kick those insecurities in realizing that we are amazing and rock!
Once I realized in my own life that when I set boundaries in how I let people get to me, this huge burden and weight just lifted from my shoulders and heart. So wait, I could actually decide who I have in my life and how I react to what they have to say?! Yeah, we all do! And that stuff is powerful!
When you go through and work towards bettering yourself, it’s pretty crucial that you in all rough honesty, delete those negative people and surroundings from your life. If you don’t, they will keep you from moving forward with their age old doubting and negative burden on your life. But that moment when you say “hell to the NO to this” you are setting yourself free from it all.
It might mean that you loose a lot of people that you have been thinking are your friends, but trust me when I say, being alone or feeling more alone for a bit is so rewarding when those real and genuinely good people start coming to your life. Because you are shining that positive light so hard that you attract the right people. It also means that some people do not like the new you at all, I’ve been there. You might lose that relationship that you thought is the ONE. But in the same time, we don’t have that much time on this planet and I want to live this life of mine to the fullest these days, risks and all. I will love the heck out of this!
So how you set those boundaries? Basically simply not being with those people, yeah easier said than done, especially if they’ve been in your life for a long time. I know it’s hard because being a people pleaser myself, I’ve been really struggling on how to be happy with my alone self. But then again, being alone felt better than being with people that in the end made me feel like shit.
The saying that we should surround ourselves with people who push us and support us and are positive influence in our life, is so true! You do not deserve anything else than the best, who ever you are, so why not be that to yourself?
But we have to be able to be honest to ourselves and say that this is what I am okay with and this is not. Before you set those boundaries to yourself, it’s pretty hard to set them for others. So what do You want? Who You are? What do You want from your life? What are Your dreams and goals? Write them down, and see how far or close you might be. Once you start demanding better from yourself, it will be easier for you from others too.
Stand up for what is important to you.
Let me tell what I had to do… I have always been a person who puts others before me, so obviously my depression was always there. Once I said that I am the one I need to put first, things started to change. Once I said that I want to be happy and if that means that I need to stand up for myself and say all those insanely scary things to few people who just walk over me constantly and use my kindness to push their own insecurities, it was so worth it! Being really alone but true to myself for some time has been the best thing ever in my life!
It’s not some mandatory deal in life, that we need to take other peoples shit because we are nice and good to them. NO! It took me quite long to really understand that there is healthy selfishness and just being a dick and selfish. And learning how to be good to myself first and be that healthy selfish is hard, but so amazing!
And that and loving who you are goes so much hand in hand. Once you are true to yourself, you love yourself and you are able to keep those boundaries. But you’re also able to be around those negative people if you have to, because you know what are your limits. You’re able to stay calm even when others are going all out around you.
So to that self love part, like I said, they go hand in hand with setting boundaries. Once I decided that this is all me, and no one else should get to decide what I do and don’t with my body, hair, whatever, I started loving myself so hard. Seeing myself in a really beautiful way from a mirror. Accepting all not just the “nice” things, all! There’s nothing wrong with me and I just wanted to stop fighting that. So I did.
People who makes us feel other than we should, can be the one in our relationship, our parents or our friends, or who ever you spend time with. But if they are bringing you down and keeping you from going forward with what you want from your life, it’s time to say those hard things and set yourself free.
If you want to have tattoos, do it, don’t let yourself not have them because what would my parents say… I’ve done that. But it’s my skin and if they make me feel good, I need to listen to that voice in me and say that this is me, all me.
If you want to look like a gym lady with visible muscles and feel strong and sexy through it, do it!
If you want to run so much that you smile like an idiot, DO IT!
If you are about that push them boundaries life and jump to unknown in your heart, DO IT!
I can assure you to the max and beyond that once you are true to yourself, things just start dropping to their right spots. Take those risks and see how happy you could be. Take the exact risk of giving yourself the chance to be happy! It’s not easy but oh oh oh it’s so worth it!
I was basically dead for my twenties and finally woke up to this all when I was just shy of turning thirty. I have lost a lot, lot of people that I thought that I need in my life, a lot of “what if’s”. But I’ve gained so much, I love myself so much, I see myself in this strong, sexy and confident woman who is capable of anything, and I know that me being honest to myself and others have only brought the best in my life, so I will keep on doing exactly that. And believe me, I am scared shitless at times, I really am, but I know now that it’s not worth looking back if it hasn’t worked before. I rather take the risk than think afterwards that damn what if I would’ve done this and that. I’m too old for what if’s. I have so much to take in from this amazing life of mine, and I will do all that I can. Enjoy every moment, even the bad ones.
I don’t want to die young like some people do, and to be clear here, I mean die young because they don’t follow their own fire. I was like that for too many years, no interest in that anymore, I’m worth so much more!
So, write down what YOU want. Tell yourself all the positives when you look yourself in the mirror. Stop fighting what you truly are and give yourself a chance to be all you are!