Live. Learn. Grow. Move On.

I didn’t have any kind of crisis when I turned 30, I was just happy to get a clean start, but I feel like I’m in some search momentum in my life now. Wouldn’t say a crisis, but a search of a bigger picture of myself, yes.

Live

If something, I have lived. Ups and downs more than one could need. Struggle that’s only made me stronger than I ever thought possible. Even through it all, I’m happy for all the heartbreaks and losses and struggles. I would not be anywhere close to who I am now without them, and where I am now is the best I’ve ever been. And I always wished when I was younger that that day when I’m in a rocking chair I would have stories, I do have those and keep living to have more of them.img_3042Learn

I could’ve chosen easier routes and roads to go forward but I’ve always chosen the ones that make me learn the most. Not easy, but worth it. I’m in a point in my life where I know that I won’t have unlimited amount of time, so I want to do the things now that I want and dream, but I don’t want to rush my life just experiencing. Things have a habit of figuring themselves out, if I just trust that. All have before so all will in my future too. Trust that gut of yours and don’t try to control everything too much. Risks are always worth taking. And, never, ever loose that yearn to learn more.

“If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself.”

-Nikita Gill

Grow

I might be almost 32, but that doesn’t mean that I have to be where the majority of my peers are. I don’t need to do and live my life in a way that is expected in some grand scheme of things. All will happen that is meant to happen, and what won’t doesn’t mean that my life wouldn’t be successful and fulfilling for me. But I’ve needed to grow to understand that some things I yearn won’t wait, I need to do what I have bubbling in me. I also don’t feel like I need to wait to say “those” things to people, if I have something that I want to be honest about. I’ve grown enough with myself to be sure and strong woman that I don’t need to take whatever people throw at this world to each other. It’s okay for me to stand up for myself and keep myself on the number one spot. So let yourself grow to that person you have in you, let that amazing You come out. I’m learning and growing into that person every damn day.

“Being both soft and strong is a combination very few have mastered.”

-Yasmin Mogahed

Move On

Let go of those people, things, habits, whatever you are dragging with you. Those things that hold you back from being the best you, you can be. We aren’t going to be here forever and you and I owe it to ourselves to be honest to ourselves and let go of all that negativity, and just be truthful and happy with what we have. The freedom you get from letting go is insane. But give yourself time for all that work that you need to grieve, to be mad, to be sad, to cry, to let go, to forgive and especially forgive yourself. And in the end and through it all, lovelovelove yourself. You deserve only good in your life, whatever it is that makes you happy and feel good, give that space to yourself and let go of all unnecessary. And remember that is completely okay to move on. And also remember, you are only a human, you don’t have to be able to take everything. You make mistakes, that you move on from. It’s all good.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

-Rumi

PMA ❤

https://vimeo.com/145243044

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Ain’t Got No…

IMG_1640Ain’t got no… time for bullshit, patience for negative anything, dishonesty, putting other people down for your own pleasure, for people who suck the positivity out of you. None for any of that!

Have you ever come to a place in your life where you’re just like “none of that shit anymore for me and in my life, thank you, bye!”? I’ve been about that life now for few months, and the freedom it brings, damn!

I’ve been way too kind to way too many people in my life, letting them walk over me and still thought the best of them. But when I was hurt to the core with just dishonesty and selfishness, I lost my interest in being anything to that person anymore. I have to thank him, for being who he was and waking me up, finally from my what should we call it, dream of that people are always good to others and don’t want to hurt you. Not that I’m saying that that one wanted to hurt me, but when we’re blind to how badly we behave towards others we don’t see how selfish and hurtful we can be. I’ve been there and been the one hurting, thank goodness I’ve taking a good and hard look at myself and grown out of that. Not a pleasant Me to be with, so I said Ok, bye to that Me long time ago.

I think when we realise how free and real we can be and feel, it’s a moment that is like reborn or something similar. The moment when you open your eyes and just know that you don’t have to care about what others say or think of you and your doing/being/likings. Freedom!

“Our scars make us know that our past was… real.”

– Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

I’m in a place in my life, where I’m loving whatever is making me feel something, whatever someone else is saying about that. Like loving Justin Biebers song for the sake that I just like it, even though I might not understand the young gentleman, just heck if his song makes me dance then I am loving it 100%.

I don’t think I have any real guilty pleasures or guilty secret likes anymore, as I just like them and not care what others say.

It’s funny how being back in Finland can start this questioning in me again, the one where my positivity these days is confusing others. The thing is, that in here being positive and openly happy and on top of that smiling to strangers is just wrong and weird, and maybe just because of that I do it so much :D.

It’s also good test to see how strong I am with myself now, will this place start making me smaller and more pessimistic again? Or will I keep my new found happiness strong enough to walk over those who question me?

This all is part of me finding more and more myself and who I am really and who I want to be. It’s so liberating to finally be just ME, nothing less.

So, no I don’t have time for any of your negative bullshit, I have time for honesty and openness. And love, always love. And hugs, because they are the best!

“I think the only way we can grow and get on in this world is to accept the fact we’re not perfect and live accordingly.”

– Ray Bradbury, The Illustrated Man

So, again, do not let others dim your light and make you feel like you need to change. Do you and keep shining like the shiniest unicorn in the world! ❤

PMA ❤