Mind Over Marathon And What Does That Mean To Me

Those who know me a bit, know that I’m fairly sensitive and cry easy. Well, super easy, whether it’s good or a bad thing or anything in between. So when I had heard that my two great friends have been part of two piece documentary series for BBC about mental health and movement, I knew that I’m going to cry my eyes out. For some reason I thought that it’ll hit close to home, and because I’m so happy and proud of my friends being able to put something so important out there. But what I didn’t realize back then was that those two hours will also remind me of my own journey with mental health issues and how I have overcome and learned to live with them, and how movement has been a massive part of it all. And that part, that part of realizing your own journey was the hardest for me. That was and is, what that documentary meant for me. Mind Over Marathon.

Watching those documentaries made me cry even before they started, even before they had come out, the first teasers and I was ballin’. At times I wondered why, because I’ve seen loads of documentaries about mental health and they haven’t made me feel this much. A friend of mine said to me that they will hit close to home to me, in a completely different way than to him. I wasn’t sure what he meant, until I watched them.

What I understood, was that my tears were about me realizing how similar my own journey has been to those in the documentary. How they spoke about those feelings I’ve gone through and not knowing how to describe them, even to myself. How hearing those words made me feel that I’m not alone with this, something I wish all the time I can give to someone else. But with all of that, I also really, deeply, realized how I genuinely don’t give myself pretty much any credit for the journey I’ve managed to push myself and the work I’ve done with myself and my life.

It was almost heart wrenching to realize that, to see myself almost from the outside and understand how little I pat myself on the back for all I’ve done. How hard it is to take compliments and how easy it is to forget your own journey. It’s maybe one of those things that you’re just too close to see it, so it’s easy to forget and not see all the amazing work you have done. Btw, writing that is really hard, that amazing part.

If you’ve lived with mental health issues, you know how deep those thought patterns are in you and how insanely hard it is to break them and learn new ones. And how frustrating it is to fall off the wagon and try to get back on, which happens a lot, maybe for the rest of our days. How hard it is to learn to be gentle to yourself and not to feel guilty about every damn thing. And how easy it is to downsize it all, because you do feel guilty and tired of how you feel, and like it’s just easier to hide it all. Even if that makes you walk to a wall and feel really really shitty until you admit that you need help. Which is by the way, THE HARDEST THING TO DO.

For the past five years now, I’ve grown stronger with myself, made changes in my thought patterns and slowly been able to change my life for the better, loose the mainly negative outlook in life to more positive, learn how to be more confident in Me and to love myself for the first time ever. But that’s only little piece of my life. When I’ve said or say that without running I wouldn’t be here anymore, I’m not lying, I just wouldn’t and that’s the truth. No cliches.

In my life I’ve been in phases where I’ve wanted to end my life, because there was nothing in me to keep going. I still remember looking down from our balcony when I was around 18 and thinking that it would be so much easier to end that numbness and nothingness I was feeling. I am eternally grateful that my little sisters head somehow creeped in my mind at that point, because without that I doubt that I would be here either. I’m also insanely grateful to my Mom who made me search help. But back then I never thought where this journey would take me.

I’m 33 now, and I’m in a place in my life that I know that in the “official/proper way” of living your life, I’m nowhere close to any of them. I don’t have a job, which would make me independent, one thing that I work the hardest towards. You might ask why haven’t I just found a job and be happy with it, well I was on that path until this whole wrist operation chronicles started and made few U-turns in those plans. I do however have a path finally that I worked hard for and feel that is right for me. I don’t have a partner to share my life with or even wish to have kids, which I know is very wrong because doesn’t everyone want them. Honestly, I have no idea if I want them or not. We’ll see when I have someone to talk about the issue with. I have no money what so ever on my bank account to fall back on if something happens, I’m so used to struggling every month that I have no idea how it would feel to not. But what I do have, is really amazing and supporting family and friends. Who have seen the journey I’ve gone and remind me of just that. Whether I see it or not.

But that’s the thing, I don’t have a husband or a house or a kid, those things are super alien even on a idea level to me. Those are also things that someone made up that we all should have by the time of this and this, long ass time ago, which we still keep pushing towards. And when not having them, you feel guilty even if your life is good on your own standards.

That’s the thing I’ve struggled lately. I never had a crisis when I turned 30, but now I seem to make my life a living hell at times because I’m not “there” yet. And why? No idea. It’s not like someone is making comments about it all the time, well yes, thank you Grandpa for being afraid that I’ll be a spinster. But other than that, no one is putting any pressure on me for those. It’s coming from myself for a reason I don’t understand. It’s probably the same place where the “give yourself shit when you really shouldn’t / you’re supposed to be able to do anything all the time” comes from. That place that makes you feel like shit and numb and stupid and like a looser when things are actually going well and you start sabotaging your own success. And the thing is… even if I have these issues, it doesn’t mean that I’m not capable of a lot of things. Do not get those two twisted! People with mental health issues, aren’t people who aren’t amazing and capable and doing amazing things. They’ve learned to deal with their issues and work towards their goals anyway, while having shitty times and not feeling anything at times. But we have to remember that there’s too much stigma and false argumentations around this whole thing. And because of that people are incredibly terrified of asking and searching for help.

And how familiar am I to that? Sabotaging my own success, and not believing it’s because I’ve done the work… It’s basically at times my middle name. Though I have to admit that I am getting better at not doing it so much, but that’s because the past year I’ve managed to crank up my courage levels to a all time high and that shit has been extra hard. I’ve also been so incredibly smart that I’ve learned how to be selfish with people who are around me, and dropped those who aren’t good for me and chose to let few closer than before, because they’ve been there for me when I’ve needed that push. But those days come, usually when you feel like you’re on top of your game and just fly high, then that depressive mind just kicks in and makes you doubt every damn thing. Even now after I wrote that I had to take a breather as damn those days are hard and tiring, and I’ve had quite a few lately. Just when things have been going so well.

But that’s what living with mental health issues is, you live with it, you learn ways to deal with it and go on daily. I don’t honestly know why I chose to not give up as that was all I knew. I have no idea why I still don’t let myself fall that hard off the track. Because this shit is terrifying and so damn tiring. Depression doesn’t mean that you’re always sad and not capable of doing things, at times it feels like you’re completely empty and feel nothing. That numbness and emptiness are probably the hardest. Not feeling anything about anything. Not being able to do any of those things that you know would make you feel better. Not even think about running or writing, even though you know so well that they were the things that kept you alive. You have days when all you can do is try to stay alive, and to be okay with that is a hard ass work. You have days when all you have energy for is to sleep the day away. Then you have days you feel good again, that’s the cycle of it all.

But what’s been really hard lately for me is that these are the things I want to work with, what I do work with now already a bit. Combining this conversation and movement, but I forgot myself and my own feelings. I got so tired, so deeply tired that I didn’t realize anything before I hit a wall a bit. I needed the reminder of this all from that documentary and from those two incredible friends who are part of it, Chevy Rough and Charlie Dark. I needed Chevy’s honesty about his struggle to believe that mine is okay, and Charlies answers to my help me messages to realize that I’m not alone.

 

When we help others it’s unfortunately super easy to forget yourself. That happened to me, and now I’m slowly learning my way back again. I said it out loud that I’m tired and I don’t have anything in me. I admitted it to myself that I’m terrified of being in front of people as a coach even though it makes me feel the best and I feel that I’m great at it. I’m still insanely nervous before every session. I need to find my why I run to be able to run at all, as now I’ve drifted so far from the reason why I did it, that I don’t want to run on my own time at all. Which I feel is not doing me any favors. I stopped writing for really long time, because I was so afraid. I still am, both this and running. But I want to learn again those routines of being good to myself. Doing that meditation in the morning, sending that email to my therapist asking for help, going for that run for myself not anyone else, and writing about whatever and whenever I want and feel. Eating better as I’ve gone back to my old ways of feeding my body processed junk as a coping mechanism. Giving thanks every evening and being thankful for every day. I know that this all will be hard, it feels the hardest now, but I’m tired of hiding my own struggle even if I’m afraid of it or sharing it. I can’t preach about something, if I don’t do the work for myself. Though I also need to be gentle and good to myself to be able to change my ways and there’s still nothing wrong with not being okay all the time.

Slow and steady is the way to go again. That, almost annoying, twinkle of hope is still there and I guess I have to listen to just that.

PMA ❀

 

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Vegan, Vegetarian, Fish or No Fish?! Who Am I These Days?

wp-1480011837054.pngI’ve had a lot of thoughts about this issue for quite some time. Am I a vegan these days, or a vegetarian who eats fish? At times it feels like you “need to know” and be strict about it, because if you’re not there’s always that chance for those moments when the “meat eaters” go after you and smirk at you that why are you eating this and this and I thought that you only eat some tofu stuff.

There’s this weird mentality that if you “only” eat veggies and want to be a vegan or a vegetarian, without bothering anyone with it, it still does. It somehow gives the idea to people that it’s their place to judge the choices I’ve made. What is it that that is worth the ridicule and why it doesn’t go the other way around? Is it that veggies are more tolerant or accepting of other peoples choices? Why don’t we feel the need to make a point of what the other one is eating every time?

I’ve had my own journey with food. I’ve had my own struggles with food and how it affects my mental health. I’ve had my own journey with almost toxic relationship with food and how I use it to either comfort or the exact opposite. I still see my body completely different than what it really is, because few times in my life I’ve gained a lot of weight and still have that mindset that I’m fat.

But on that journey has also been the joys food can bring, I’m very fortunate to grown up in an environment where I was offered the choices of many different foods. I was a “I eat everything” kind of person for majority of my life, I went to culinary school to become a chef. I’ve been that one who says things like “vegetarians are the difficult ones” and that’s saying it very nicely. I used to love a good steak. I was all about junk food and still have and probably will always have my deep rooted love for chips/crisps.

And I’ve been a very strict vegan, wrote about it and how it has benefited me and my mental health. I’ve fallen off that wagon really hard and now I am climbing back up.

This whole blog started partly because I watched a documentary called “Hungry for Change”. It opened my eyes with how much the food we eat affects our body and especially our mind. I still remember this one man in it, who spoke about his diet choices and how they affected his depression and I just had tears streaming my face, because it was like he was talking about me. That made me want to change my ways, I wanted to see if I could really feel that much better with so little as what I ate. And it really did. It made a massive change for the best with me. So why have I stopped and jumped on and off so many times in such a short amount of time, as few last years?

For me, I tend to still be a people pleaser and in a way respect what they’ve cooked and eat that, even if it’s not what I would eat if I would’ve been the one cooking. I’ve noticed a lot that it eases the minds of those people if you still eat fish, it’s like you’re not that weird yet or haven’t jumped on the dark side fully. But lately, with Christmas looming and me going deeper and deeper back to my vegan ways I’m finding myself questioning how I will deal this coming Christmas and all the food. What should I cook for myself when others eat the traditional Christmas foods, for example all the fish dishes that used to be the best part for me. And how can I sit in that table with my Christmas tofu or whatever I’ll figure without someone pointing it out like it always happens. It’s starting to get a little tiring for me that it’s the joke or the issue that it’s okay to make a joke about. And to be clear, I haven’t been a strict vegan for quite some time so in a way “it’s starting to get a little tiring” can sound funny to some who know me close enough, but it still does because it’s just stupid to make those remarks. But I also have to point out that when you have people in your life who respect or just purely don’t care what you eat, it does make this whole thing a lot easier. Still those remarks are nonsense and better to left unsaid.

Also, just like my journey with my own mental health and how food affected it, my mind has broadened over the years about how much what we choose to eat effects the world we live in. I started my food journey purely on selfish reasons, but the more you read and research, the more you come across with environment and animal welfare, it would be impossible to not see, read, hear those while doing your research. And it would also be stupid to close your eyes from all of it only because it’s unpleasant.

The last 3 something years I’ve started to appreciate the natural world more and more, it’s for the first time for me, became this sanctuary like place. It’s where I found my love for trail running. It’s where I’ve found myself after breakups or loosing loved ones. The more I spend time in it, the more I want to do something to keep it as it is. I find myself wanting to read books, watching documentaries and doing research on the internet about this all. And the more I know, the more I ponder about it all, the more I lean towards wholehearted environmentalist attitude, I guess that could be what this feeling would be.

So it’s not only the choice of foods, it’s where I choose to buy my clothes, my cleaning products, my everything. I want to make conscious decisions on not affecting negatively on this world.

Back to the diet choices. Since I moved to my own home start of July, my diet has been basically vegan with few instants of vegetarianism. I don’t even think about it myself, but I notice it every time I for example go to my parents where I tend to eat fish or cheese or stuff like that. And the last time I was there I was just thinking why am I eating this fish if I really don’t feel it to be right, for me? I think it’s the easiness of it all. It’s there so you just eat it. It’s the fact that they’ve gotten the fish because they respect you not eating meat. But the last time I ate fish there, I just noticed that this feels wrong. And since then I’ve thought about this and especially this coming Christmas a lot. I’ve only been a vegan for one Christmas before and back then I was a funny, not knowing enough vegan, so this time I would like to make an effort in what I would eat.

It’s funny how Christmas makes this all feel so current, but it’s about eating in most homes, it’s about gathering around that table and eating, a lot. Being together obviously too, but food is a massive part of it.

But so, what am I these days? A vegan? A vegetarian? Fish or no fish?

I would say that majority of my time I’m fully vegan, and going more and more back to that direction. Purely because I’ve felt the benefits of it in my body and like before, especially in my mind. But I also feel like I’m okay to make an exception if something is vegetarian and not vegan. I still don’t eat eggs, I did during the summer, but then it started to feel wrong again, it’s like this is still a baby chicken, no matter how I look at it. Now that I haven’t eaten cheese regularly anymore, I don’t crave it, and it was the hardest for me to leave behind in the beginning on this journey. And damn now I just realized that there’s going to be so many delish cheeses at Christmas! πŸ˜€ And that fish is in the past too, it just doesn’t feel right. There’s nothing different in eating a factory farmed fish than any other animal.

Few good reasons why I chose to decide that I want to give veganism a good go again and to refresh my mind of what I already knew, was documentaries like Cowspiracy, Food Choices, Before the Flood, books like Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer which really opened my foggy and forgetful mind wide awake. There’s loads of great sources to get some knowledge about this and other issues that are all linked together. And that’s what it is for me, the stuff we eat affects the planet earth and we’re already cruising here like it’s going to last forever and not stopping and thinking that will our kids or their kids be able to play in the snow or see any animals in the actual nature where they are suppose to live.

What I really loved about the book, Eating Animals, was that the writer didn’t sugar coat anything, but that he also wanted to offer the opinion of all the sides in the arguments, so you were able to think them through yourself too with that help. It didn’t give a one dimensional look on what eating animals, fish too, does to our planet.

I think for me the most important thing about this is, that you should do your every decision with the fact in mind that it will affect someone somewhere, whether you like it or not. And on the bigger scale those decisions are hurting all of us, if we do them on a whim or with no thought. That does not mean that your life is supposed to be extra hard. For me it means that I have done my research and that I buy stuff with that in mind. I use products that at least try to make a difference. Because every little change is a change for the better.

And like I was happy to notice the first time I went vegan, this time I’m noticing it too. I’m calmer, my skin is way better, so is my hair, I don’t have stomach issues anymore, no more gassy bloated feeling after almost everything, more energy, my depression is a lot more balanced, I feel a lot more tuned with myself, I recover from workouts faster, I don’t have those sugar spikes as I did before, the food that I eat actually does me good. And that is enough for me to choose this path, once again, hopefully this time braver than before, not caring so much what others feel about it.

I respect your choices, so let’s respect each other in every way, okay :).

PMA ❀

 

Why Have I Chosen To Go Plant Based

IMG_4752Why have I chosen to go plant based?

I had to actually take some time and really think how this all began. It wasn’t one day and boom.

For few years I gradually started giving up meat, as it just didn’t suit well with my body, I felt ill after I ate it. Then about two years ago when I saw the documentary “Hungry For Change”, I started slowly but surely cleaning my diet from processed foods and drinks. Then I gave up chicken, and about 6 months ago fish. Cheese has been the hardest for me. I have gone without it for long periods of time but then all of sudden come back to it, only to realize that it really doesn’t make me feel good and that it doesn’t even taste that good. I have always been almost known to eat a lot of cheese, so this was and at times still is a thing for me.

For the past month I have been really getting serious about trying eating only plant based food. I felt that why can’t I just go full on, why am I dipping my toes but not have the guts to really dive in?

The main reason for me to even start this change two years ago was the fact that if I clean my nutrition, my depression and other health problems should get better or easier. What has happened really has surprised myself on the best kind of positive way.

My depression and imbalance in my mind got a lot better quite fast after cleaning my nutrition. These days I have ups and downs but I have never been this balanced. I felt more energized and I was noticeable happier. Those are huge things to someone who didn’t want to wake up anymore because they were so tired of feeling that nothing is good or that everything is just dark.IMG_4996When I started running, obviously I got interested in learning more and more about running and people who run. One of the first I got really into was Scott Jurek, I quickly got his book “Eat and Run”. That really boosted my want and interest in becoming more plant based. His journey from meat eating to plant based was really similar to mine, so it was easy to digest the info. Of course the fact that there are good recipes in his book helps too. And also good answer to that age old question, “how do you get enough protein?”.

The more I studied about the benefits of plant based nutrition has on endurance athletes, the more I was convinced that this is a thing I want to try and see if it works for me.

Breaking old patterns isn’t easy. Β And eating habits aren’t from the easiest end of changing things. In the beginning your body might feel sick just from the fact that the new clean stuff you are putting in your mouth is cleaning your body. Basically, the more sick you are the better you are cleaning your insides. Once you start noticing the benefits, it’s easier to keep going.

One of the reasons for me was also, that I’ve had migraines since I was really young, and when I was around 18 I was diagnosed with Epilepsy. The medication for Epilepsy in so awful toxic poop that I really wanted to get it out of my system. Obviously I didn’t stop taking them while I was suffering from attacks, but I had talked for couple of years with my doctor about quitting them.

But I did quit them and started using vitamin E to support that part of my brain, and for me that has worked without any complications. For me, not for everyone, so don’t go and do something without talking first to your doctor.IMG_4786These days I don’t really have any migraines, only after really long period of stress, that’s how my body sometimes releases it. But not those at worse one a week things anymore. Also this cloudiness that I had before, has gone away. That might be a thing that only people with headaches and migraines know :).

After I dropped milk products this weird and consistent joint pain disappeared from my knees, and I’ve had that for so long, since I injured my knees as a teenager.

I think one of the biggest moments with this nutrition has been on this Monday. On Sunday I went for a long run, didn’t know the route and it ended up being 23,3km of steep hills after another. Usually after longer runs my body is sore and my knees especially. This time, I felt amazing! I was dreading how my knees would feel after all those hills, but nothing really. That showed me that okay, this works the best for me and that I really want to keep going.

I’ve also given up using painkillers and such, I wanted to really get to know my body and if it really hurt or how much was in my head. I haven’t missed them. These days I use ginger for this purpose, and I am happy with that, not turning back!IMG_5177It’s not too easy to be a vegan or plant based or how ever you want to call yourself. There are places where it’s really easy to get food and then places where eating out for example can be a pain in the butt… But I think you can always figure something out, if you want to. I’ve decided to try to be positive and ask if there’s not anything on the menu straight away. It’s not too bad.

So, the benefits in my case:

– getting rid of my medication and having less problems with migraines

– getting my depression in a more balanced state, my anxiety is calmer, I don’t have to go from one extreme to another anymore as fast because my mood is more balanced

– having a lot more energy

– recovering from training faster and giving my body the best kind of fuel

– no more crazy dark circles under my eyes

– I sweat a lot less and it doesn’t really smell

– easier period pains

– skin is better and clearer

– no bloating

– digestion is no problems, no hemorrhoids

– no heartburn anymore

– clearer thinking, more patience, no sugar level jumps

– no addictive feeling, to sugar or some other processed foods or drinks

– natural weight loss

– hair and nails are in better shape and shinier

– breath is better

If I have to put something that someone would take as a “bad” thing…

– nails and hairs, yes all the hairs, grow crazy fast.

– graving of kale…

I think those are all I can think, so basically nothing! πŸ™‚

This change in me might started from selfish reasons, but these days it’s partly because I want to be able to live in a World with less pollution and don’t want to cause pain to innocent animals. The more you study and do research the more you open your eyes to what’s going on, and what the World will be if I have kids someday. It makes you think.

Also, once you start thinking how much you have choices in eating plant based, you don’t think it as a chore anymore. You can eat so many things that it’s insane, it’s not what I have to give up, it’s oh my I am gaining so much! πŸ™‚IMG_4275

Bridging The Gap with Hackney Half

Enjoying our time together with amazing friends at Primrose Hill

Enjoying our time together with amazing friends at Primrose Hill

How can I start this… It was one of those weekends. Filled with friends, love, happiness, running, dancing. Also new friends, good food, bike rides, sunrises and smiles.

This was my second Bridge The Gap event, and I was prepared for this one. I learned my lesson in Berlin, when it comes to eating and drinking enough ;). So I had goals, yes eat and drink, but get to that after party and dance my ass off, because I missed that in Berlin due to heatstroke.

But also prepared for not expecting too much, and mostly enjoying the moments without extra craziness. As I wrote after Berlin, I was sadly a bit disappointed in certain things, so this time I was wiser and also was able to let things fly over me without caring. Which made the whole time in London wayyy better. It’s all about learning. πŸ™‚

About that eating part ;). Cronut filled with raspberry  creamy stuff, yum!

About that eating part ;). Cronut filled with raspberry creamy stuff, yum!

The point of this trip was to see friends and run the race. I was so excited to see some friends that I had missed a lot during these couple of months, and how many new ones did I gain, it’s insane how amazing people there are to get to know! When it came to the race, I was so honored to be there for my friend, Jamie, to run his first Half. Sharing is caring and I could not be happier that I did that.

So, I arrived on Friday afternoon, met my amazing friend, Dani and we took my stuff to her place, got bikes and biked to the city. How nice it is to see newish places from that perspective! Best!

Best hostess the mostest!

Best hostess the mostest!

Though obviously I wasn’t ready for the switch of the sides while in traffic haha! But no accidents, only a minor fight with a fence when going over it haha! So, Friday was all about meeting people and eating and chilling. It was just so nice, could not ask for anything better. Night riding through London was pretty awesome.

Saturday came fast with a first Bridge The Gap event, shake out run and bbq. I have been dreaming of running with Run Dem Crew through London streets and now I got that chance :). Not only did I got the chance to run with Run Dem, there were people from NBRO/ Denmark, Patta & Running Junkies/Netherlands, Run Pack & Berlin Braves/ Germany, Paris Running Club/ France and obviously my crew, Still Waters Run Deep :). If I forgot someone, please forgive me.

Sunday! Race Day! Heat! Yes, so Sunday came and the weather was super hot already early in the morning, but this time I was prepared. I had my cap on and water bottle. Days before the race some people were saying that the course is quite flat… How wrong were they haha! It started with a hill and when you were just dead from the heat in the end, there was few hills more. During the course there were so many runners who just collapsed from the heat, so hydration was pretty big deal. We had great race, and the crowd around the course were so amazing, thank you! And when we got to Cheer Dem Crew, all happiness broke loose! I jumped on Ciaran in Berlin, and I warned him that I will do it again and boom, I did it twice! πŸ™‚ That feeling that you get from people you know cheering like their lives depended on it, is insane! Makes you feel like you can do anything, and basically you can!! πŸ™‚

CHEER DEM CREW !!!!

CHEER DEM CREW !!!!

I could not be prouder of Jamie, on how he ran his first half. It was not easy by any means but he pushed through like a champ!! On to the next one!!

Sneezy Panda Yeller and Super Champ!!

Sneezy Panda Yeller and Super Champ!!

I was so happy after the race, so proud, feeling good, surrounded by friends, can you ask for anything better?! And I was ready for the after party πŸ˜€ this time nothing would stop me from dancing!

AND THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN I GET TO THE DANCE FLOOR HAHA

AND THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN I GET TO THE DANCE FLOOR HAHA

It feels hard to write down what that weekend felt, it’s a lot. It’s been a week since I came home, got a proper after fun flu and now try to make all those feelings in to a blog post… What I can say is that these days with all these amazing people give me hope, and make me feel like home. I have this huge safety net of friends all over the world. I can be who I genuinely am and I am accepted, that is lucky! Obviously I am “secretly” planning the next racetrip to be able to see my friends again, and make many more. I will leave you with photos and stop trying to explain something which I can’t :). Thank you! You all are amazing! Till the next time! Love and hugs!

Run Dem Crew x NBRO x Still Waters Run Deep

Run Dem Crew x NBRO x Still Waters Run Deep

 

 

 

 

I love you Hummus!

I love Hummus! I have always liked it but now that I am more and more into only plant based diet, it had become one of my favorite things to eat. With everything :). But buying it all the time didn’t make any sense, so I wanted to make it myself

I’ve done Hummus once before, but that one didn’t really go too well. Maybe because if you don’t use dried chickpeas but rather the canned ones, it can give you gas, sorry but that is true!

I searched for recipes and oh, boy there are millions… So this the version I did. Note… I made huge amounts because I didn’t thought about it before soaking the whole 500g! But I’ll give you a little smaller recipe here.

1 cup dried Chickpeas (will make around 2 cups once soaked and boiled)

3 tablespoons Olive Oil, extra virgin

3 tablespoons Tahini

1 1/2 to 2 tablespoons Lemon Juice

1 glove of Garlic, chopped

1 teaspoon Salt

1/2 teaspoon Black Pepper, ground

1. Soak the chickpeas for good 24-48 hours in water, I put just a pinch of salt to the water. Then rinse them well and boil them for good 2 hours, until they are soft. Rinse them again and then they are ready to use. And all this soaking and boiling is needed to avoid that gas problem ;).

2. Put all the ingredients in to a food processor or a blender and mix well. You might need some water to thin the mix, I did.

3. Enjoy!! It’s easy and delicious πŸ™‚

Notes:

You might want to sautΓ© the garlic a bit, if you aren’t big fan of fresh garlic, or just leave it out all together.

And don’t be afraid to use water to thin the mix :).