Changes

received_10155252971233458.jpegWhen was the last time you looked yourself in the mirror and realized that you are exactly who you’ve wanted to be. You feel free, free’r than you’ve felt in ages. You feel you, comfortable in your own skin, in your style, in your mind, all.

When was the last time you felt You, the you you know you are inside of you, under all those layers that life has put on you?

Or what has to happen for you to crack those layers off from your back and be free and truly you? When will you stop compromising to suit the You that others have “designed” for you?

I lost my closest and dearest person a month ago, exactly a month ago. My Grandpa passed away, he was ready to leave, left in a way he had wanted. The last time we spoke our phonecall ended in “I love you, I love you too!”. Just like our phonecalls before that on weekly basis. For the past month I’ve tried to understand all these feelings his passing started in me. How I had to loose someone so damn dear to me to shook myself out of this state of numbness that I had been for quite some time.

If there’s one whose always been truthfully and with no hesitation them, it’s been my Grandpa. He was fearless, not in reality as we all have things we fear, but he wasn’t afraid of life. He wasn’t afraid of death, we spoke about it a lot this past year. Honestly, jokingly, deeply. It made me forget my fear of loosing him. I was able to accept it all, not understand but accept.

This piece is not about him, as he’s something I don’t feel the need to share more than I have. This is about changing and letting yourself be You. The You I’ve been hiding and fearing. This is about change. Change that you know is the best kind of right, the kind that you know in the deepest of your stomach that you need and have to do. I haven’t listened to my gut in a long ass time, and I’ve suffered from that dumbness!

We all know that changing our lives is hard, changing the ways we are and live is hard. Leaving people and situations behind is hard. Making decisions that will change the course of your journey is hard. I’ve done all of those quite a few times in my life, but not in any way like this year and probably the future ones too.

The funny thing is that sometimes the change can start from the smallest and most superficial thing. With me, it had been brewing in me for such a long time, me fighting against it with all I had. Being afraid of who I am and who I want to be, loosing days to fear. And if there’s one thing we never get back it’s time, don’t try to fool yourself. When we are younger we, I think, understand the concept of time, or the way it slips from our fingers way better than when we grow up and the world hardens our skin. We don’t fear what others might think of us or if something we wear is okay or not. At least I was like my Grandpa when I was small, I was that lone wolf like I am still with no worry in the world. I didn’t care if no one liked my new rubberboots that looked like frogs with eyes and all. I thought they were great and that was enough for me. I spent most of my time alone and I was completely happy. The feeling of loneliness came a lot later, when the surroundings, the people around me made notes that it would be great if I would have more friends. I had one and I was happy with that, too.

So why does all that happen? Why we forget that fearlessness and are all of sudden afraid of every damn thing?

I’ve found answers this past month I’ve been mostly alone, dealing with my grief but also with those things that have been pressing my peace for too long. My level of understanding them had reached all the levels there could be, I had nothing left but to know exactly what I need to do. I had to start making changes.

I had known few things, intuitively made the decisions already, for quite some time but the letting go part was the hardest to me. I felt like I’m loosing myself, when the reality was that I was afraid of the reality that would come when I let go and open that door that I should’ve knocked on long time ago. I still have no idea what’s behind it, but now I’m in peace with my fear that I actually don’t have anymore, but only the childlike curiosity to see. Today I admitted all of them out loud and made a plan while realizing them. I’ve missed that feeling so fucking much, that shows how deeply I’d lost myself.

My superficial thing, the product that kick started or more like pushed the ball to the right direction a direction I had build the past months, was a pair of Red Wings Moc Toes. A pair of work boots that I had been dreaming of for almost 6 years. And yes, I understand that you might think that what the fuck, but yes that’s my truth. My partners in my life crime to happiness. That’s the thing, sometimes you need a nudge in your style to be able to be your true self. A thing, a product, an object, that feels like home, like you’re complete.

Yeah, keep laughing if you want to but we all have something that makes us feel like that, don’t even try to fool yourselves like you’re better than me…

The Me I am and in the same way the You you are, is a complete puzzle of multiple pieces. From childhood to all those heartbreaks, to your style, your hair and smile. To the music you listen to, to books you read or movies you watch, even those “guilty pleasure” reality shows. But the hardest part is to be the You you really are without caring what the world around you think and just be. A lot of us say that we don’t care but we all know that that’s bullshit. We might be able to master the art of not giving a fuck by practicing for years, and let me tell you I’m reaping the benefits, I truly am. Though that also means that you need to admit all those not so nice parts of yourself to yourself. That’s the hardest part… Believe me, I’ve been there.

My change is powered by the crave for the happiness and free flying feeling I had, not even so long ago. My change is necessary for my tomorrow to be better than the numbness I’ve felt for most of this year. My change is Me. My life is mine.

MY LIFE IS MINE just like the amazing Tracee Ellis Ross said.

Stay tuned…

PMA ❤

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No Matter What It Is, It’s How You React That Makes All The Difference

For years, too many years I’ve lived with my past on my shoulders, unable to let it go. Feeling like I’m supposed to carry it with me and feel a little shitty all the time, no matter what happened in my life. Feeling grateful for whatever and anyone who’ve helped in someway even if it’s been to their benefit and not mine truly, because I’ve done mistakes and made choices that affect my daily life still. But the thing is that the more I’ve worked on myself and with myself, the more I know myself and my boundaries. Which is obviously the goal for someone like me, to have boundaries and not let people walk all over me anymore. I’ve walked over myself quite a few times too, just to stop something that might have been good for me but I’ve just been too scared to see my full potential.

But I got tired of that, and looked at my life and where I am, and decided that no more. I am worthy of all the good just like anyone else. I don’t need to live in the past because that’s not going to take me anywhere. I don’t need to feel guilty of something that has happened years ago, if I know that I’m doing my best and right thing right know, then I’m on the right path. If I’m not doing anything to hurt others and being honest to them and myself, I’m going to the right direction. If I’m true to my boundaries, I’m going to be okay.

The truth is that I’m not been sharing my life like I’ve before, but that happens when life changes. Sometimes our experiences make us clamp up and we have no interest in sharing our hardships, because we need time to go through them ourselves. I’ve also taken on a role in my worklife that makes me think what I share in a completely different way. I need time to find that balance in it all. I’m finding my bearings in life while it’s been changing with a speed I didn’t know possible.

What I’ve found in myself is this strength and peace, I never knew was there. I’ve been able to take moments of turmoil in such a way of grace that I can only be immensely proud of myself. Those moments when I’ve wanted to go all out in the past, are now something I’m able to take on calmly, put to perspective with the big picture and move on. Taking things as they come, not worry about what could happen before I know the reality of that exact thing at the exact time I need to react to it.

It’s super easy to freak out, often. Blame others for things going on in your life. Be angry and use energy to things and people who don’t deserve it. But if we give that precious energy to issues and people that don’t deserve it, it’s out of our own time and reserves for those moments and issues that need it more. That’s what I’ve noticed I’ve gotten better without really trying and I’m extremely proud of myself for that. Because it makes my life a lot easier and peaceful, and myself stronger in the midst of it all.

We aren’t able to control our life in a way that nothing would ever happen or surprise us, it’s impossible. And even though I don’t, for a minute, enjoy some of the things I’ve gone through lately, I wouldn’t change the experiences. I’ve been able to work through very challenging situations, been able to stay in the moment and not get carried away like before. This all is a result of all the hard work I’ve done the past years.

But we all have the control to choose how we react to challenges and changes in our lives. That we have, fully. We are completely entitled to choose how people treat us, we decide where the boundaries lay. This is our life, not anyone elses. And if we stay true to ourselves, it shines through and makes our lives easier and calmer. It also shows others where we stand and what is okay to us and what not. When we respect ourselves, others see that and know how to respect us too. When we do good things to ourselves and others, others do them to us. It’s that simple.

I could’ve been worried about writing again, which I have been at times, but I decided that I’ll just try and see what comes from my mind and fingers. There’s been a lot of issues I’ve felt that I wanted to write about lately but it just hasn’t been the right moment, so I haven’t been writing, without feeling guilty about that. I’ve learned to cut some slack to myself, as the levels of stress have been so high the past six months that my body is reaping it all now. I haven’t been able to run due to an injure, while being a running coach, something that is at times really frustrating. But I have really good support around me, and I’ve learned to detour that possible frustration to being able to be in the moment and learn something new, rather than fall in the darkness. When I’ve gotten really heartbreaking news that at the moment I’m not able to do anything about, I’ve learned to think about what I’m grateful of and known that I need and should live my life no matter what. Laughter on those moments doesn’t mean that we forget what’s going on, but that we are able to appreciate what we have and know that the situation is out of our hands at that moment. When we are able to do something about it, then we have more energy and resources to do just that.

One of my biggest challenges has been to learn how to set boundaries, it’s not easy but I’m really proud of who I am now and how well I’ve done just that. Once you figure that all out, it really eases up your stress levels. Once you realise that you aren’t who you were in the past, but the You you are now, you’re able to live your life fully.

Find ways that work for you, but remember that setbacks don’t mean that you’re going backwards. They are part of this all, what we call life.

Maybe I’ll tell you more of what’s been going on at some point, but now I’ll just tell what I have now. Maybe I’ll write more often if that feels right, or maybe I’ll have a few months of a break but that’s okay too. This is me, now. The happiest I’ve ever been in my life, even with all the challenges.

PMA ❤

Mind Over Marathon And What Does That Mean To Me

Those who know me a bit, know that I’m fairly sensitive and cry easy. Well, super easy, whether it’s good or a bad thing or anything in between. So when I had heard that my two great friends have been part of two piece documentary series for BBC about mental health and movement, I knew that I’m going to cry my eyes out. For some reason I thought that it’ll hit close to home, and because I’m so happy and proud of my friends being able to put something so important out there. But what I didn’t realize back then was that those two hours will also remind me of my own journey with mental health issues and how I have overcome and learned to live with them, and how movement has been a massive part of it all. And that part, that part of realizing your own journey was the hardest for me. That was and is, what that documentary meant for me. Mind Over Marathon.

Watching those documentaries made me cry even before they started, even before they had come out, the first teasers and I was ballin’. At times I wondered why, because I’ve seen loads of documentaries about mental health and they haven’t made me feel this much. A friend of mine said to me that they will hit close to home to me, in a completely different way than to him. I wasn’t sure what he meant, until I watched them.

What I understood, was that my tears were about me realizing how similar my own journey has been to those in the documentary. How they spoke about those feelings I’ve gone through and not knowing how to describe them, even to myself. How hearing those words made me feel that I’m not alone with this, something I wish all the time I can give to someone else. But with all of that, I also really, deeply, realized how I genuinely don’t give myself pretty much any credit for the journey I’ve managed to push myself and the work I’ve done with myself and my life.

It was almost heart wrenching to realize that, to see myself almost from the outside and understand how little I pat myself on the back for all I’ve done. How hard it is to take compliments and how easy it is to forget your own journey. It’s maybe one of those things that you’re just too close to see it, so it’s easy to forget and not see all the amazing work you have done. Btw, writing that is really hard, that amazing part.

If you’ve lived with mental health issues, you know how deep those thought patterns are in you and how insanely hard it is to break them and learn new ones. And how frustrating it is to fall off the wagon and try to get back on, which happens a lot, maybe for the rest of our days. How hard it is to learn to be gentle to yourself and not to feel guilty about every damn thing. And how easy it is to downsize it all, because you do feel guilty and tired of how you feel, and like it’s just easier to hide it all. Even if that makes you walk to a wall and feel really really shitty until you admit that you need help. Which is by the way, THE HARDEST THING TO DO.

For the past five years now, I’ve grown stronger with myself, made changes in my thought patterns and slowly been able to change my life for the better, loose the mainly negative outlook in life to more positive, learn how to be more confident in Me and to love myself for the first time ever. But that’s only little piece of my life. When I’ve said or say that without running I wouldn’t be here anymore, I’m not lying, I just wouldn’t and that’s the truth. No cliches.

In my life I’ve been in phases where I’ve wanted to end my life, because there was nothing in me to keep going. I still remember looking down from our balcony when I was around 18 and thinking that it would be so much easier to end that numbness and nothingness I was feeling. I am eternally grateful that my little sisters head somehow creeped in my mind at that point, because without that I doubt that I would be here either. I’m also insanely grateful to my Mom who made me search help. But back then I never thought where this journey would take me.

I’m 33 now, and I’m in a place in my life that I know that in the “official/proper way” of living your life, I’m nowhere close to any of them. I don’t have a job, which would make me independent, one thing that I work the hardest towards. You might ask why haven’t I just found a job and be happy with it, well I was on that path until this whole wrist operation chronicles started and made few U-turns in those plans. I do however have a path finally that I worked hard for and feel that is right for me. I don’t have a partner to share my life with or even wish to have kids, which I know is very wrong because doesn’t everyone want them. Honestly, I have no idea if I want them or not. We’ll see when I have someone to talk about the issue with. I have no money what so ever on my bank account to fall back on if something happens, I’m so used to struggling every month that I have no idea how it would feel to not. But what I do have, is really amazing and supporting family and friends. Who have seen the journey I’ve gone and remind me of just that. Whether I see it or not.

But that’s the thing, I don’t have a husband or a house or a kid, those things are super alien even on a idea level to me. Those are also things that someone made up that we all should have by the time of this and this, long ass time ago, which we still keep pushing towards. And when not having them, you feel guilty even if your life is good on your own standards.

That’s the thing I’ve struggled lately. I never had a crisis when I turned 30, but now I seem to make my life a living hell at times because I’m not “there” yet. And why? No idea. It’s not like someone is making comments about it all the time, well yes, thank you Grandpa for being afraid that I’ll be a spinster. But other than that, no one is putting any pressure on me for those. It’s coming from myself for a reason I don’t understand. It’s probably the same place where the “give yourself shit when you really shouldn’t / you’re supposed to be able to do anything all the time” comes from. That place that makes you feel like shit and numb and stupid and like a looser when things are actually going well and you start sabotaging your own success. And the thing is… even if I have these issues, it doesn’t mean that I’m not capable of a lot of things. Do not get those two twisted! People with mental health issues, aren’t people who aren’t amazing and capable and doing amazing things. They’ve learned to deal with their issues and work towards their goals anyway, while having shitty times and not feeling anything at times. But we have to remember that there’s too much stigma and false argumentations around this whole thing. And because of that people are incredibly terrified of asking and searching for help.

And how familiar am I to that? Sabotaging my own success, and not believing it’s because I’ve done the work… It’s basically at times my middle name. Though I have to admit that I am getting better at not doing it so much, but that’s because the past year I’ve managed to crank up my courage levels to a all time high and that shit has been extra hard. I’ve also been so incredibly smart that I’ve learned how to be selfish with people who are around me, and dropped those who aren’t good for me and chose to let few closer than before, because they’ve been there for me when I’ve needed that push. But those days come, usually when you feel like you’re on top of your game and just fly high, then that depressive mind just kicks in and makes you doubt every damn thing. Even now after I wrote that I had to take a breather as damn those days are hard and tiring, and I’ve had quite a few lately. Just when things have been going so well.

But that’s what living with mental health issues is, you live with it, you learn ways to deal with it and go on daily. I don’t honestly know why I chose to not give up as that was all I knew. I have no idea why I still don’t let myself fall that hard off the track. Because this shit is terrifying and so damn tiring. Depression doesn’t mean that you’re always sad and not capable of doing things, at times it feels like you’re completely empty and feel nothing. That numbness and emptiness are probably the hardest. Not feeling anything about anything. Not being able to do any of those things that you know would make you feel better. Not even think about running or writing, even though you know so well that they were the things that kept you alive. You have days when all you can do is try to stay alive, and to be okay with that is a hard ass work. You have days when all you have energy for is to sleep the day away. Then you have days you feel good again, that’s the cycle of it all.

But what’s been really hard lately for me is that these are the things I want to work with, what I do work with now already a bit. Combining this conversation and movement, but I forgot myself and my own feelings. I got so tired, so deeply tired that I didn’t realize anything before I hit a wall a bit. I needed the reminder of this all from that documentary and from those two incredible friends who are part of it, Chevy Rough and Charlie Dark. I needed Chevy’s honesty about his struggle to believe that mine is okay, and Charlies answers to my help me messages to realize that I’m not alone.

 

When we help others it’s unfortunately super easy to forget yourself. That happened to me, and now I’m slowly learning my way back again. I said it out loud that I’m tired and I don’t have anything in me. I admitted it to myself that I’m terrified of being in front of people as a coach even though it makes me feel the best and I feel that I’m great at it. I’m still insanely nervous before every session. I need to find my why I run to be able to run at all, as now I’ve drifted so far from the reason why I did it, that I don’t want to run on my own time at all. Which I feel is not doing me any favors. I stopped writing for really long time, because I was so afraid. I still am, both this and running. But I want to learn again those routines of being good to myself. Doing that meditation in the morning, sending that email to my therapist asking for help, going for that run for myself not anyone else, and writing about whatever and whenever I want and feel. Eating better as I’ve gone back to my old ways of feeding my body processed junk as a coping mechanism. Giving thanks every evening and being thankful for every day. I know that this all will be hard, it feels the hardest now, but I’m tired of hiding my own struggle even if I’m afraid of it or sharing it. I can’t preach about something, if I don’t do the work for myself. Though I also need to be gentle and good to myself to be able to change my ways and there’s still nothing wrong with not being okay all the time.

Slow and steady is the way to go again. That, almost annoying, twinkle of hope is still there and I guess I have to listen to just that.

PMA ❤

 

Why Now? Why Not Now?

Photo Esa Laukkanen

It’s said that when it rains it pours… I can safely say that this past six months my life has been exactly that. The sheer amount of stuff happening in my life, majority of it good but also the bad or more so challenging has been there.

It’s been a long time, actually two months since my last post. In all honesty I’ve been afraid to open myself this way and write again. Something changed in me big time when I moved back home to Finland. It’s like my way of thinking when I write that I’m anonymous disappeared and I forget my courage when it came to writing. I felt and still feel that now when I’m honest and me here, it might be for some reason a bad thing. While in my coaching jobs I want to be just that to my runners and people who are around me, I want to talk about mental health and my own battle but for some reason I got scared of how open and raw that all makes me. In a way when we or I talk about mental health and depression, it’s almost like an armor and I can hide behind it. But when it comes to my own well being and how I’m coping with all this change and the ups and downs, I felt really alone though I had more people around me. I got scared of the me I really am and who I am so insanely proud of, who’s gotten me this far. For some reason, here in my home country I felt and feel way more visible than ever when I lived abroad.

My main passion or goal is bringing more awareness to living with depression and mental health in general, if through running I can bring that I’m happy. I’ve finally found a way to be me and stand proud with something I do. In this case coaching. For me it’s all about the overall well being, not just the running part, it’s the complex whole of us. I don’t even know if I could coach anyone without letting them in a bit, so that I can be more for them. That’s my strength but it’s also the reason why I feel extremely depleted at times, and those are the moments when my mental health and the highly sensitive mind kicks me into overdrive and I feel like a loser and overall nothing, maybe for a second but still.

It’s this funny paradox that when you have all going like you’ve wanted for so long in your life, you’ve found a way that’s yours and you feel confident and right. And then it kicks in, that asshole depressive mind, that just wants to fuck you and your confidence up! That’s mental health for you.

I’ve had to go from loosing one of my best friends, to getting a coaching position that I couldn’t even dream of, to getting the news that my already operated wrist is a complete fuck up and needs few new operations, to finding my confidence and demanding what I felt is right and fighting for all that and succeeding, to realizing that one of my closest and dearest is slowly winding away from who they were and I can’t do anything about it. I’ve gained the trust of those I wished to gain, to gotten feedback from my work that I always wished for, to gotten opportunities I couldn’t even dream of and them coming slowly true, to being rejected on a personal level and realizing how much that actually can hurt (again, as it’s somehow still easy to forget), to not wanting to give up because why the hell would I do that?!

I feel really loved but at the same time really lonely, it’s that old feeling that doesn’t let go. Or more like that when you’re already a bit down, having that moment in your life where things don’t feel the best, then it hits you. Those feelings that you didn’t even remember existing because maybe you didn’t feel that they were there anymore or you had made that decision that they aren’t part of you. Walking with a badge of honor for something you’re afraid of saying out loud. Sometimes it takes a hit from a cold and wet towel to your face to realize what you want and why you want it.

In this case, I had to admit that I am insanely good at and love coaching, and that I want to get better at it. That I have to find my own balance and boundaries when it comes to my way of coaching, so that I won’t deplete on a regular. That maybe I do feel alone at times, and that it would actually be nice to have someone in my life, that I don’t need to feel like there’s something wrong in that. How nice would it be to fall asleep on someone’s arms? Really damn nice.

For me this past couple of months has been a time of being me more than ever before, once again. And a time of realization of what I want and what I want to let go. And how I don’t, really honestly don’t have to carry this load of life on my own shoulders alone all the time, it’s ok to feel weak and tired and need others to be there. I still suck majorly on that department but I’m getting better at it. I also hope that with this post, I could slow and steady get over my fear of being me here and writing again, even if that means that someone here in Finland actually reads this and might even say something to me about it… Shit that is scary! I’m honestly terrified of that. No jokes whatsoever!

Writing your being out. That stuff is my therapy, just like running is. But it’s also putting yourself out there in a way that anyone, whoever can put you down or comment or just very honestly dislike you. I don’t think I’m any braver than anyone else for starting my journey the way I did. I still hope the same thing I did back then, maybe if I can help one person somewhere around the world to feel like they are not alone, then I feel like I’ve done what I set out to do, without realizing it back then.

So, what this new beginning is, basically… I’m challenging my own damn self to do something I love and enjoy again, whether I am scared shitless or not.

PMA ❤

People, We Need To Rest So We Can Push On With Our Dreams!

wp-1486894105825.pngI’m a massive believer in resting, mind body and soul. Without rest it’s nearly impossible to be able to push on with something that you find passionate for you, those dreams and goals. Always moving forward with the fastest speed isn’t bringing you closer to your goal, it might make you speed past it and forget to live while you’re at it.

Last year I took a long break of all I had done a lot the past years, running and writing. I didn’t feel inspired in any way, so the best thing I could do was to take a break. That was the best thing because I had time to listen to myself, fall to the depths and climb back, to remember who I am and what I want to accomplish now, and giving myself the moment to realize that it’s okay to change what you are moving towards. It’s okay to change your journey and goals, nothing wrong with that.

Looking back now, I started moving far from who I truly was the past year and that’s the main reason why I felt so lost and confused. I forgot to stay true to myself, no matter how much I wanted and thought of it. I forgot my strengths and power, the thing that makes me Me. For some reason I thought that I should change who I am to be able to get to where I wanted to head, though not even knowing where that was. So basically I was just aiming to nothing.

From the start of this year, or actually starting end of last year, something in me changed. Reminding me of who I am and that should never change. Maybe I needed to hit the wall of pain once again to remember. Sometimes that is needed, that’s it.

Now that I’ve been truly me, my life is filling with opportunities and insanely amazing moments that make me feel the biggest highs. Because I am me, I am radiating the possibility and what I have in me out of me, where others can see it and if they like it, give me opportunities to be me with them.

The reality is that once we realize that when we are true to ourselves the best things will come to our lives. It’s not easy but damn it’s good! It’s so worth it, trust me. Someone will see that and give you the chance you’ve been hungry for all these years.

But if I hadn’t taken the time out of my own life in a way, none of this would be happening in my life right now. I wouldn’t be confident enough to go after my dreams, I wouldn’t be even ready to say them to myself. So I really needed that break and to rest myself. Then and still everyday today.

Now that my life has taken massive steps forward I remind myself daily that I need to rest so that I can do what I want. I can’t let that intoxicating feeling of all the good get the best of me and realize too late that I am exhausted.

Rest is the time when you get to recharge yourself and be able to take what comes next. It’s different for all of us, but it’s equally important. And sleeping enough is one of the biggest, do not under estimate the benefits of sleep!

For me it’s meditating in the mornings with Headspace app, it’s simple enough and takes 15minutes, but the benefits are massive. I am able to start my day with a mindset that is ready to take the fast pace with calmness. I don’t have to drown myself in it anymore, I am able to stay calm and still be excited. When it comes to running, I take restdays to let my body recover, especially now that I am coming back from a long pause of normal training. I’m easing my body and mind to that all, letting that feeling come back when I yearn to run again and it feels good and is really something I want to do rather than have to do. I also keep a balance in my life with challenging myself with a new hobby, fly tying and soon fly fishing. When my life is now a lot about running and being quite social, I balance it out with time for myself in a totally different surrounding doing something that I have no clue from before. I’m also extremely grateful for this all, that I’m able to do what I am and have the opportunities I have. I do not take them for granted. I am really proud of the work I’ve done to be able to be here, but it’s taken me years and hasn’t been easy by any measure. There’s been a lot of tears, jealousy and negativity, but I wasn’t ready. I’m a working progress and always will be, now I just know and accept it. So I’m able to be ready for certain opportunities.

If we don’t rest the complex whole of our mind, body and soul, we won’t be able to do the things we want to accomplish in the end. Do not try to fool your body, that shit will always outsmart you, believe me!

And remember, really let this sink in, comparison will kill the living daylight out of you! What someone else is doing, doesn’t mean that you need to or should be able to do the same. We are all just one, and that makes us so damn special. ❤

So, rest up, ain’t nothing wrong with that! Find your way to do it and enjoy!

PMA ❤