Being Me Is My Crown

” ‘Cause if I don’t follow my heart this time,
I’m gonna forget what this life is all about,
I’m gonna take that path, I’m going in on my own,
I’m gonna take that fear and wear it like a crown.”

– Rebekka Karijord – Wear It Like A Crown

I’m not sure if I know how to write anymore… It’s been quite a long time since I last even wanted to write. I miss those days when I had this yearning and just needed to write, to get those thinking thoughts out of me. I don’t even remember the last time I felt like that, or maybe a bit this past week, like something is slowly bubbling back in me. I think I need to run those thinking thoughts back again…

It’s funny how two things that basically saved my life few years back are the two things I’m missing now the most and finding the hardest to get back to my everyday life. It’s like I’m afraid of them, and most of the time that is the exact thing that starting them again makes me feel, fear.

Most of 2016 I was afraid, afraid of basically anything. It’s like we’re so afraid of loosing ourselves in anyway possible that we forgot to live our lives. Whether it’s our bodies, or not wanting babies, or doing something out off the norm or being selfish and taking care of yourself while that also meaning that we need to “eliminate” the issue to feel better. Admitting your reality is hard, being selfish is hard, being able to stand in front of yourself and admit your limits is hard, needing time is necessary but means that you need to build and make boundaries for yourself and others. That shit is hard.

But then I decided that I want to start this year without all of that. Like one of my favs, The Staves, sings “No Me, No You, No More”. Enough of that now. I want to be me again, the one I know I have been, am and will be. And when I listened to my deepest self and did those painful decisions that are good to myself, I felt so good and this massive weight just got lifted from my heart and shoulders. I was free.

Too often we keep holding on to people, situations, ideas that aren’t good to us by the sheer thought that freeing ourselves makes us a shitty person. It’s human to be nice to people but being too nice with the consequences that you forget to be nice to yourself first. Sometimes working for it just isn’t the right thing to do, sometimes saying that “we’ve gone through so much” isn’t enough of a reason. Sometimes giving up for the better is the right thing to do. Sometimes we need to make room for better things we deserve in our lives. That’s it.

It’s weird writing again, for so many days I wanted to do this, but felt like I don’t know anymore. This whole thing started with me being extremely open and honest about everything. Then 2016 came around and I felt this need of pulling back with this all, I felt that for the first time I need to build some privacy around my life. I needed time for myself, only for myself to figure all that was going on. The last months of 2016 I needed that even more. But the last couple of weeks of last year I got the best reminders of love and luck while battling the biggest losses of my life. It doesn’t always feel fair but if you pull yourself back from the situation and think about it all with listening to your gut, you will find the answers that you knew to be there already.

I have no resolutions for 2017, no plans to do this or that. I pretty much suck with stuff like that. I hope to learn how to listen to my gut closer once again, it always knows the answers that I don’t want to admit. Admitting my reality is my key, that is what makes me stronger. Saying that I’m weak, is my strength. Being a human with all of it, is my power. Being me is my crown.

PMA ❤

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Blips of Loneliness

wp-1480357086390.pngI noticed it last Friday, for the first time in a very long time, I felt lonely. In that way that swallows your whole being under it like a heavy blanket. In a way that doesn’t even really need saving but just to be there, let the feeling be “out” and move on. But it was still there, and it made me really think why it even came for a visit.

I’ve been so content with my lone life for over a year that this feeling felt just weird, like a unknown dark veil. Me being able to be on my own and liking the way I am capable of being alone a lot has always been a blessing and a curse for me. It let’s me charge my batteries, it let’s me think my thoughts which I really like to do, I love to be in my own head and just do some mind work. I’ve always been good at being on my own and figuring out what to do on my own, I don’t mind seeing no one in few days or more. I don’t need other people to make me feel whole. But there’s also the downside that I tend to be so good at this that I kind of over do it every now and then. And then I get this feeling that “will I end up being alone for the rest of my life, because no one even knows that I exist, as I really like to be on my own”.  And as the truth is that no one will come to your door and ask you out or “to play”.

The older we get the less we have these accidental places and moments in our lives for meeting new people or old friends, as we have been granted with the opportunity of making our lives the way we want them to be. Some like to be surrounded with friends or other people all the time, I tend to like my solitude to an extend where I feel lonely at times.

The more you learn to know yourself, the more you find ways that make you happy with your life. The more I’ve learn about who I am, that I am an introvert, that I happen to be an highly sensitive person, I’ve learned to accept the ways those help me understand myself and the surrounding world and how I need to listen to my body and mind closer than I did before when I didn’t know what those amazing and sometimes hard traits are that make me the me I am.

I’m no stranger to feeling lonely, I’ve felt that a lot in my life, but for the past year, I’ve been more or less really happy with who I am, being single and living my life with all that it’s thrown at me. And this year has not been easy, by any measurements. It’s taken more out of me than I knew could happen, but I’ve learned to know myself even more once again. For such a long time, I felt that I will just feel lonely and that it’s, but that was before I understood, really understood that before you love and accept yourself, you will never be content with yourself and your life.

But this past weekend, the loneliness really kicked in. I don’t know if it’s the time of the year, every possible ad and commercial is about being together and loving and all that squishy lovely stuff and finding that perfect present for “that” person. Is it that the age I am now that majority of the people around you, tend to have significant others and families, that people like me are the minority not majority. I haven’t even thought about that I would want to have someone in my life for quite some time, and that didn’t really come to me now either. And noticing and being honest about that makes me sure that I still need some “me time” before I can even really think about sharing my life with someone else. All though if I’m truly, utterly honest I do miss being close to someone at times, or that butterfly feeling in your belly or that cheek hurting smiling, BUT still it’s not enough for me to actually do anything about the whole thing. That’s how much I’m happy with my life right now.

And I also have to admit that me being pretty much always the one who has made the first move, and all my experiences in my past has made me extremely careful about even considering anything. I’ve noticed that I actually want the other one to make that first move, and make me feel special and wanted.

But the pure heaviness of the feeling last Friday was pretty overwhelming. It was so “right now”. I noticed myself just walking in the city with my headphones on and looking at people as they were rushing around after work, going to their company Christmas parties, buying frantically Christmas presents, or holding hands and smiling to each other. I don’t know why and how it was such a strong emotion all of sudden.

What I’ve started to do to challenge myself these days is to sign up for things that I haven’t tried ever before and with that having new experiences, meeting new people that I wouldn’t other wise, placing myself outside my comfort zone. I have plans like these for 2017, to really just do things that I’ve wanted for some time but just haven’t done anything to them.

But with all this, I also felt strongly that it’s good to feel lonely at times, if you would never feel that you would never think about if you wanted to change something or if it was just a moment or what. Loneliness isn’t the worst kind of feeling when it’s “controlled”, when you’re able to acknowledge it and sit in peace with it. It is an issue that you need to address when it’s eating you whole and you feel like there’s nothing you can do about it. But I really wish that you understand and remember that you’re not alone and there’s always someone ready to listen and be there with you.

As the year is coming to an end, a lot of thoughts and feelings raise their heads and make us think of what we’ve done this past year, if we’re happy with our lives and what we would like to change if there is something. The darkness outside is really pushing us down but we just need to breath few more times and push back and move on. It’s not hopeless, and you’re not really alone.

PMA ❤

Vegan, Vegetarian, Fish or No Fish?! Who Am I These Days?

wp-1480011837054.pngI’ve had a lot of thoughts about this issue for quite some time. Am I a vegan these days, or a vegetarian who eats fish? At times it feels like you “need to know” and be strict about it, because if you’re not there’s always that chance for those moments when the “meat eaters” go after you and smirk at you that why are you eating this and this and I thought that you only eat some tofu stuff.

There’s this weird mentality that if you “only” eat veggies and want to be a vegan or a vegetarian, without bothering anyone with it, it still does. It somehow gives the idea to people that it’s their place to judge the choices I’ve made. What is it that that is worth the ridicule and why it doesn’t go the other way around? Is it that veggies are more tolerant or accepting of other peoples choices? Why don’t we feel the need to make a point of what the other one is eating every time?

I’ve had my own journey with food. I’ve had my own struggles with food and how it affects my mental health. I’ve had my own journey with almost toxic relationship with food and how I use it to either comfort or the exact opposite. I still see my body completely different than what it really is, because few times in my life I’ve gained a lot of weight and still have that mindset that I’m fat.

But on that journey has also been the joys food can bring, I’m very fortunate to grown up in an environment where I was offered the choices of many different foods. I was a “I eat everything” kind of person for majority of my life, I went to culinary school to become a chef. I’ve been that one who says things like “vegetarians are the difficult ones” and that’s saying it very nicely. I used to love a good steak. I was all about junk food and still have and probably will always have my deep rooted love for chips/crisps.

And I’ve been a very strict vegan, wrote about it and how it has benefited me and my mental health. I’ve fallen off that wagon really hard and now I am climbing back up.

This whole blog started partly because I watched a documentary called “Hungry for Change”. It opened my eyes with how much the food we eat affects our body and especially our mind. I still remember this one man in it, who spoke about his diet choices and how they affected his depression and I just had tears streaming my face, because it was like he was talking about me. That made me want to change my ways, I wanted to see if I could really feel that much better with so little as what I ate. And it really did. It made a massive change for the best with me. So why have I stopped and jumped on and off so many times in such a short amount of time, as few last years?

For me, I tend to still be a people pleaser and in a way respect what they’ve cooked and eat that, even if it’s not what I would eat if I would’ve been the one cooking. I’ve noticed a lot that it eases the minds of those people if you still eat fish, it’s like you’re not that weird yet or haven’t jumped on the dark side fully. But lately, with Christmas looming and me going deeper and deeper back to my vegan ways I’m finding myself questioning how I will deal this coming Christmas and all the food. What should I cook for myself when others eat the traditional Christmas foods, for example all the fish dishes that used to be the best part for me. And how can I sit in that table with my Christmas tofu or whatever I’ll figure without someone pointing it out like it always happens. It’s starting to get a little tiring for me that it’s the joke or the issue that it’s okay to make a joke about. And to be clear, I haven’t been a strict vegan for quite some time so in a way “it’s starting to get a little tiring” can sound funny to some who know me close enough, but it still does because it’s just stupid to make those remarks. But I also have to point out that when you have people in your life who respect or just purely don’t care what you eat, it does make this whole thing a lot easier. Still those remarks are nonsense and better to left unsaid.

Also, just like my journey with my own mental health and how food affected it, my mind has broadened over the years about how much what we choose to eat effects the world we live in. I started my food journey purely on selfish reasons, but the more you read and research, the more you come across with environment and animal welfare, it would be impossible to not see, read, hear those while doing your research. And it would also be stupid to close your eyes from all of it only because it’s unpleasant.

The last 3 something years I’ve started to appreciate the natural world more and more, it’s for the first time for me, became this sanctuary like place. It’s where I found my love for trail running. It’s where I’ve found myself after breakups or loosing loved ones. The more I spend time in it, the more I want to do something to keep it as it is. I find myself wanting to read books, watching documentaries and doing research on the internet about this all. And the more I know, the more I ponder about it all, the more I lean towards wholehearted environmentalist attitude, I guess that could be what this feeling would be.

So it’s not only the choice of foods, it’s where I choose to buy my clothes, my cleaning products, my everything. I want to make conscious decisions on not affecting negatively on this world.

Back to the diet choices. Since I moved to my own home start of July, my diet has been basically vegan with few instants of vegetarianism. I don’t even think about it myself, but I notice it every time I for example go to my parents where I tend to eat fish or cheese or stuff like that. And the last time I was there I was just thinking why am I eating this fish if I really don’t feel it to be right, for me? I think it’s the easiness of it all. It’s there so you just eat it. It’s the fact that they’ve gotten the fish because they respect you not eating meat. But the last time I ate fish there, I just noticed that this feels wrong. And since then I’ve thought about this and especially this coming Christmas a lot. I’ve only been a vegan for one Christmas before and back then I was a funny, not knowing enough vegan, so this time I would like to make an effort in what I would eat.

It’s funny how Christmas makes this all feel so current, but it’s about eating in most homes, it’s about gathering around that table and eating, a lot. Being together obviously too, but food is a massive part of it.

But so, what am I these days? A vegan? A vegetarian? Fish or no fish?

I would say that majority of my time I’m fully vegan, and going more and more back to that direction. Purely because I’ve felt the benefits of it in my body and like before, especially in my mind. But I also feel like I’m okay to make an exception if something is vegetarian and not vegan. I still don’t eat eggs, I did during the summer, but then it started to feel wrong again, it’s like this is still a baby chicken, no matter how I look at it. Now that I haven’t eaten cheese regularly anymore, I don’t crave it, and it was the hardest for me to leave behind in the beginning on this journey. And damn now I just realized that there’s going to be so many delish cheeses at Christmas! 😀 And that fish is in the past too, it just doesn’t feel right. There’s nothing different in eating a factory farmed fish than any other animal.

Few good reasons why I chose to decide that I want to give veganism a good go again and to refresh my mind of what I already knew, was documentaries like Cowspiracy, Food Choices, Before the Flood, books like Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer which really opened my foggy and forgetful mind wide awake. There’s loads of great sources to get some knowledge about this and other issues that are all linked together. And that’s what it is for me, the stuff we eat affects the planet earth and we’re already cruising here like it’s going to last forever and not stopping and thinking that will our kids or their kids be able to play in the snow or see any animals in the actual nature where they are suppose to live.

What I really loved about the book, Eating Animals, was that the writer didn’t sugar coat anything, but that he also wanted to offer the opinion of all the sides in the arguments, so you were able to think them through yourself too with that help. It didn’t give a one dimensional look on what eating animals, fish too, does to our planet.

I think for me the most important thing about this is, that you should do your every decision with the fact in mind that it will affect someone somewhere, whether you like it or not. And on the bigger scale those decisions are hurting all of us, if we do them on a whim or with no thought. That does not mean that your life is supposed to be extra hard. For me it means that I have done my research and that I buy stuff with that in mind. I use products that at least try to make a difference. Because every little change is a change for the better.

And like I was happy to notice the first time I went vegan, this time I’m noticing it too. I’m calmer, my skin is way better, so is my hair, I don’t have stomach issues anymore, no more gassy bloated feeling after almost everything, more energy, my depression is a lot more balanced, I feel a lot more tuned with myself, I recover from workouts faster, I don’t have those sugar spikes as I did before, the food that I eat actually does me good. And that is enough for me to choose this path, once again, hopefully this time braver than before, not caring so much what others feel about it.

I respect your choices, so let’s respect each other in every way, okay :).

PMA ❤

 

Simple(r) : My Wardrobe Challenge

wp-1478617952584.pngI’ve wanted to challenge myself for quite some time with being more and more sustainable, think as much as I can about my choices. I’ve done a lot of changes in my life towards simpler and more minimalist life the past years, and now that I have my own home again, I can be the only one doing the choices that I feel to be right for me and with that to the environment and the people who produce what I buy.

During the past summer I started reading a lot more and with great books comes great knowledge and you start questioning your choices, which I think is necessary if we want to grow. What I noticed in many of those books or articles was that they brought up this question in me that what is the most important thing for me, my possessions or experiences. Because what I’ve noticed these past few years is that the less I have the happier I am, and now that I have my own space “to fill”, it would be really easy to just do that. But that’s the last thing I want to do. I feel uncomfortable as soon as I have more, and just want to get either rid of them or find them a new home, and the thing is that I don’t own that much, very little actually. But still, I don’t want to fill my home or my head with stuff that is not necessary if I don’t have to.

I understand that we live in a world where spending money and consumerism is the thing, to show with your new hype things that you are something. It’s almost better and new and faster and this and that, that’s how I feel. A lot of the time we forget what we have, because we have so much. If you don’t even remember what you own, how necessary those things are for your wellbeing?

This challenge is not only making my closets cleaner, what they already are, but to make me feel more conscious about my choices when I do buy something, in this case clothes. I do challenge myself in this same way in everything in my life, from food to home products to how I go from one place to another.

What I want to do is to only have the clothes and shoes I actually wear in my closet, not the inbetweens or maybe when I’m skinnier or what ever it is you save something for. And when I do buy something new, I want to think and do some research about where it comes from, does the brand care about the fabric and how it’s made and about the people who make it, is it made sustainable/ ecological/ ethical and still be something I want to wear without me having to change my style. So I’m banning all fast fashion brands and stores from myself, yes it might mean that I need to wear the same clothes I have now for longer and have less variety, but I rather save my money to buy something that is well made, possibly close to me and that I can use my money with clear conscience. And I also want to take this one in, one out habit in my life, so if I find something that can replace what I have and what is better, I might buy that and put the old one away. But only if there’s really a reason for it, not just for the want aspect of buying.

I did some digging today in my closets and went through all I have. I put all that didn’t fit me now and that I had saved for that “later” day, in a pile to go through and see where they could go, if I could sell some and the rest give to charity. I only saved what I actually wear, or have worn in the last 6 months. That’s also something I’ve done for a long time now, if I haven’t used or worn something in the past 6 months, then I put it forward because I doubt that I’ll wear it later either.

I counted the clothes I wear now, and I had less than 20 items, that includes pants, tops, dresses and skirts. All in all it looks that I have around 50 items of clothes. And that’s max. I also have 5 pairs of sneakers, 1 pair of “work” boots and a pair of “fancier” low leather shoes. And that feels more than enough, the only things that I’ve wanted to buy for some time and feel that I need are a pair of good jeans because I don’t have any at the moment, but I know which ones I would get when I can, so no problem there. Kings of Indigo, I’m lusting after you! 🙂 And couple button up shirts, other than those, I feel that I have all that I need. Of course if there would all of sudden be a party that I would need to really dress up I would need to get something, but as I don’t have those in my life all the time and often, I think I’m okay.

So basically the challenge is very simple, whatever I buy from now on, will have to be sustainable/ ethical and ecologically made. That’s it.

I’ve found some amazing brands already that would fill the void for my love of the style that I could easily find from And Other Stories or COS, but I’m on the hunt for more similar ones as my style is very easy, classic and minimalist.

Brands that I love now are Kings of Indigo, I could pretty much buy anything from them. Patagonia, always as they really work hard to make that difference in how to produce clothes and equipment. Bysigne from Denmark has some really nice pieces, Armed Angels from Germany does really nice stuff too, Klättermusen from Sweden, Halla x Halla from Finland, Studio August from Estonia has the most amazing and beautiful pieces, again a brand that I could pretty much buy everything from, Mori Collective from Finland has great pieces too. And I have to say that I like what adidas is doing research wise and to try to make a difference as a massive company.  So there are few that I’ve found already but of course I’m on the hunt all the time now.

I’m feeling really optimistic about this personal challenge, as it’s like a continuity to what I’ve been doing for some time now. Less stuff means clearer head to me and for me the idea of being a minimalist or how ever you want to call this, mixed with being concerned about the worlds future, is more about the journey to knowing who you are, not so much about frantically putting stuff away. If something gives serious substance to your life, then collect it, like for me books give me life so I tend to buy them, but I’ve also started to give them forward too, as we rarely read them more than once.

From now on, I will do little posts about the clothes I have bought and tell you why I chose that one. And if you have any great tips for me on what brands I should check out, please leave a comment and I’ll check them out! 🙂

Here’s couple sites that might be interesting if this is something you feel that you would want to do to, and a great podcast about what minimalism really is about.

The Minimalists 

Becoming Minimalist

Rich Roll podcast : Joshua Fields Millburn

Also, I highly recommend that everyone watches Before the Flood documentary!

 

Embracing The ME I Am Right Now

wp-1477852857055.pngIt’s taken me some time to come to terms with who I am right now, and how much I love the Me right now. It’s weird feeling, I’ve never felt this good with all of me and my life in general before. I’ve always yearned and hoped and wished for this kind of feeling and now I have exactly that in my life, made by me. I really feel that I’m giving myself a chance to really embrace who I am right now, no apologies or anything. Me.

Before I wrote a lot here, I journaled all that I was going through, I felt that it was the best way to get it all out. And for a long time it was, it was who I was and could stand behind with no hesitation. But lately, more so this year, I’ve felt that I want to take a step back with it all, with all that’s been in my life. I needed to quiet down my life, in all areas, to find who I am and be okay with all of it.

I’ve been about the less is more life for couple of years now, in a way searching what it means to me. And I’m on that path still but found out what it really is right now. I’ve read a lot, which means that I’ve learned a lot, and that has helped me with how I feel about certain issues and what I personally want to do to them in my life.

One thing that was massively important to me when I moved to my own place, was to be able to fully be the one who decides what products to use around the apartment. I remember the day I got the keys and went to buy some cleaning products and how happy it made me to be able to choose the ones I wanted, the ones that are cleaner and at least a bit better for the nature. Sometimes it’s that simple of a thing that can spark your being slowly back to it’s “who am I?” gear to the right direction.

I’ve also really started to think more about the food I am eating and what it does to me, but also a lot of what it does the environment. I’ve noticed that when I live alone, I tend to go back to my vegan ways. I’ve been pretty much vegetarian for a long time, but sensing how I want to go back to those ways that truly felt the best for me and my body. And that are truly the best for the world too. A thing that is important to me, as I feel that why should any animal suffer in any way for my satisfaction when it’s not really even doing that. I feel better and I’m not harming any one while choosing this, a win – win situation.

Back when I originally started my journey to better health, especially mental health and finding ways to feel better as a whole, it was a selfish want that sparked it all. It was because I felt and was overweight and didn’t like how I looked and how that made me feel. That was the root reason for my want to change. As the time has gone by, I’ve gone from one end to another and back again and to this. But what has changed that I know more, and it’s getting harder and harder to just push the knowledge to the side and keep going like it doesn’t exist. They say that ignorance is a bliss, and in a way it is, but at what cost. I’ve been asking myself that a lot this summer. It’s really easy to be selfish and only think of your own happiness.

I think my less is more mentality has grown to take over all areas of my life, and it feels really good. I find that when I calm my life down to a level where I am strong enough to really say what I want and don’t want, to make those hard decisions without doubt in me, then I get closer and closer to my true self. I’ve started to question my decisions in a whole new way and found answers that I didn’t think I would have the courage to say even to myself. If I’ve always been honest, I’ve really been honest to myself now.

I can say that it’s one of the best feelings in the world when you are completely happy with your life and You. Like I said, I’ve wanted this moment or feeling in my life my whole life, but I’ve also been afraid of who that me really is and how it all could really feel.

This is all a funny tangle of things, but it basically all comes down to me enjoying life in the simplest of ways. I absolutely love being on my own and just read or watch interesting documentaries or movies or some ridiculous reality show. I love that I don’t feel anymore that there’s something wrong with me needing that much time alone, because I’ve felt for so many years that there was something wrong with me. That me being really sensitive is a fault in me, when it’s actually a strength.

For me right now living and enjoying my life in the simplest of ways means that I choose to buy foods that are organic and good for me and the environment, to challenge myself in finding ways and products in all areas of my life to be cleaner, to get rid of all that I truly don’t need and keeping my home simple and uncluttered.

I want to challenge myself in ways that I haven’t before and take myself further in the search of Me.

Right now for example, I am challenging myself to find clothing brands that are sustainable and ethical, while maintaining the style I’ve come to feel Me. I’m not going to buy any fast fashion anymore, the only things I’m still “allowed” to buy outside of this challenge are underwear and certain sports items, if I really can’t find alternatives to them. The thing is that I’ve bought so little clothes this year that where I’m starting is situation that I actually need new clothes, but I rather keep wearing the ones I have now than buy something that doesn’t feel right. And I’ve noticed that the less you cave in the less you feel the need. I’m happy that my general style is very simplistic and classic in a way and that I rarely feel like I want to jump to different hype styles. But the main thing in this challenge is that I want to show myself that having this style is possible in ethical and sustainable way too.

I strongly feel that it’s good to consider the whole picture of our actions and not just what feels the best for you. I’ve found myself thinking a lot that if it’s important to me that I use clean skin and hair care products, and eat clean food, then why don’t I only buy clothes with the same mindset or all else we need in our lives. I don’t think that it can’t be a whole “deal” and that you need to be without something because of this mindset. I think it’s just more about finding ways to make it work. And right now, I want to challenge myself with it and show that I can do it.

What this all really boils down to is Me feeling better and better with less is more as a whole life mindset. Being 100% okay with who I am and not being uncomfortable to face my fears or insecurities. Loving the life I am living right now and not thinking jealously that why is someone else having this or that and why am I here just being bitter of their success.

I’ve found ways to find more peace in my life, from meditating every morning, to eating cleaner, being extra gentle to myself in this once again new chapter of my life, being active in a calm way, learning more by reading and really tackling that as it is a thing I absolutely love.

I’m happy that I don’t have to be the same person I was couple of years ago, that would be sad and also impossible. I am happy that I’ve gone through a lot of heartbreak and struggles, because that’s why I am the Me I am right now. What I can do now, is to live my life the way I really want to, not saying I’m sorry in every turn, setting boundaries with what feels right and what wrong and standing with them strong. I know that not all of my decisions will make some people in my life happy, but I have to put myself first and think of my own wellbeing as my number one goal. Because when I feel good with myself, I am able to be more to others and to this world.

You’ll be seeing this new challenging chapter here too, hope you’ll enjoy it as much as I do.

PMA ❤