Friends Like Mine – Quality Over Quantity

IMG_7958-1I had one of the best runs tonight, one of those that make you feel like you are on top of the world. And it’s all because of the company I had.

Lately I’ve really realized how truly blessed and lucky I am to have the people I have in my life. I’ve always been quite a lone wolf, but these days I am just overflowing in happiness and smiles. And that’s “just” all the people I have around me, all around the world. The people I really have and let close to me are just insanely amazing!

I remember when I was younger how I always wanted to be one of those popular ones who have all the friends and who people want to spend their time with, well I was never that one because I was just too picky. That’s the truth. And because always made my life a lot harder than it really needed to be. And if someone was a friend, I was so terrified of losing them that I probably suffocated them with all that I had. This all obviously came from me being really insecure with myself and not really sure who I was and really didn’t love myself.

I had to fall really deep to start loving myself, which means that now I am able to love others. It’s not selfish anymore, I love and be there for others because I get so much out from it. It’s not a situation where I expect to get anything, I just give and am happy with that. Because that’s what love is, something you give without any expectations.

So now, I have no interest in being that popular one, because I am so happy with what I have. All the people I call more family than friends, the ones I love with all my heart like I do all, but the ones that are in my heart in a special way. There’s people I’ve known for quite long and people who I just met couple months ago, but have so so special place in my heart, that I hope they will be there forever. Because life without them just wouldn’t feel as amazing as now.

I am a firm believer in Universe and it making the moves that we should have in our lives, if we just let it and are open to it. And I feel that I’m finally letting go and letting it do the moves I deserve to have. Because I do deserve as much good as any other here. And we all deserve all the good. Someone being happy, isn’t anything away from someone else. IMG_7956

After my last relationship I made few promises to myself, that I want to be 100% who I am, with all I am. That honest and loving one I am. The one who genuinely means what she says. The one who is not in a hurry and loves peace more than anything else. Being this open isn’t always the easiest but still I don’t want to change a thing, nothing. I feel like I’ve never been this happy, in peace and just able to really listen what is in me and around me too.

I also made a challenge for myself when I moved to Copenhagen. I need to be more social and challenge myself with those situations that I am terribly afraid, which means being in a group of people I don’t know. Or in general in a group of people. So far all of those moments have made me feel so good, that I think I’ll keep doing that. And it’s not that serious if you made a fool out of you at times, that’s part of this. Being who you are even if someone doesn’t understand you or thinks that you are a total idiot.

I’ve also challenged myself for some time with something that has always been really hard for me. I want to actually let people in, in my life and give them a change to show me that it’s okay to let them close. But at the same time I’ve learned to set boundaries in all that. Which is equally important.

I’ve made the conscious decision to not let certain people close, because I’ve had enough of negativity in my life, so I want to surround myself with people that appreciate who I am and that’s it. We are who we spend time with, so I want to be happy and positive and encouraging and loving, so I’ll surround myself with that kind of people. It might sound really selfish but it’s being healthy selfish and good for me and my future.

But since I’ve found this peace, I’ve been able to be there for people in a whole new way. I’m able to take myself out of the situation if it has nothing to do with me, not giving my two cents in something that isn’t anything to do with me. I am able to be there for them and listen and ask the questions that might challenge them in a way they haven’t thought about things yet. But mostly just be there.

And I am able to love, like never before. And I intend to keep doing just that. So the one who has my heart, you’re about get all that has been bubbling in me so long and all that’s there now. And the funny thing is that for the first time I’m not in a hurry, I know that I am on the right path. Day at a time is the way to go. With all the ups and downs, because they are all part of this, and I would not change a thing. IMG_7772

This is all part of my own journey, growing older, maybe a bit wiser while at it. I am so happy that I’ve gone through so much, pure hell, in my life. Because without all those moments when I just wanted to disappear and give up because I didn’t see anything good or any light at the end of the tunnel, I would not be who I am now. And I absolutely love myself! I don’t even understand all this always, but I rather have this all than whatever I had before. All of my past, it made me stronger and courageous and so damn loving, and why the heck would I change any of that, just because I am afraid at times?!

So, I will keep on my “lovers gonna love” path and keep being me. ❤

PMA ❤ and be sure to check the video below from our cheerzone at the Copenhagen Marathon, you might see this little one hugging one of her best friends while he’s running :).

 

 

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Grab Your Life By The Balls – It’s Yours And No One Else’s

IMGP8079These past few months I’ve really come close with this weird thing that is raving around me. People want to put you down as much as they can if you follow your own heart, or are happy or feel that what you do is the right thing to do, whatever others say about it. Especially if it’s far from the “norm”.

The closer I’ve come to what I truly want to do with my life, the more I’ve come to notice that some people just don’t want you to succeed. The happier I am, the more I come across with negativity. The harder I work towards my goals and dreams, the more doubt come in front of me too.

Why is someones happiness such toxic poison to some?

Why doubt needs to be the first thing that comes up?

Why don’t we encourage the bravery?

I used to talk a lot about what I want to do and what I’m going to do, only to end up doing nothing. All talk no action. These days I rather stay quiet and just do what I want. I’ve learned the hard way that when you share your passion, the amount of people giving their two cents is just insane.

I understand genuine worry and caring about, but I don’t understand genuine drop your path because you shouldn’t do what we don’t. We are not supposed to do all the same, whether you feel it’s the right or wrong way to live someones life, it’s not yours to decide. What I think about someones else’s life, is something I should keep in me, at least as long as the other one actually asks what I think. It’s not my place to make a decision for someone else’s happiness. I don’t have to understand why someone does something, but I am not the one to have the last saying in what they should do.

I think we’ve completely forgotten how to encourage and push bravery on. It’s not like this world would be what it is these days, if there wouldn’t be those crazy brave ones who wanted to step out of the norm. How are we able to say that someone is really inspirational in one moment and then on the other that what they are doing is wrong, because we wouldn’t do it?! That doesn’t make any sense.

The downright truth is that we are here really short amount of time, and it would be insanely stupid to not do what makes us the happiest, even if that means that everyone won’t understand why. Why would we need to please everyone, it’s not their life to live. It’s about you and only you. This is your life and your decision.

I haven’t always done the smartest things in my life, when it comes to deciding my next move. But what I am doing these days, I know for a fact, that I am doing the right thing for myself. I don’t expect people to always understand why I do what I do, and why I jump from one to another like nothing. But I do respect their worry and concern. And I’ve gone through enough pleasing others and letting them control my life choices, that I have no interest in that anymore. I have no interest in hurting others either, but I am doing my choices in a way that I can stay true to myself while respecting the people around me. And if my decisions aren’t hurting anyone, then I’m doing the right thing.

I might not have this all figured out, but why the hell should I have?! Then I would not live, I would plan things ready and just stop and float around, probably complaining about things that have no real reason to be even coming out of my mouth. The moment I stopped complaining about useless stuff, my life got better. The moment I did something to those things I wasn’t happy about, my life got better. The moment I truly listened to my own heart and self, my life got better.

Living true to yourself and being truly yourself, doesn’t always float everyone’s boat, but it shouldn’t. We are not made from the same wood and we’re not supposed to do the same thing.

I haven’t done any of the things “you should”. I don’t have a proper education, which would somehow miraculously end up me having a proper job. I have messed up my finances so well in my early twenties that I am still paying the price for that. I still don’t have a steady job, actually none at the moment. I still don’t have a place to call mine or even a home. I still don’t have any money. I still don’t have that 5 year plan. My life still fits in just two suitcases. Or I’m still not married or have kids. And I am still 31 years old with nothing that I am supposed to have… But, I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. I am richer in ways I’ve never been before. I am free from the old and open to what comes my way without the fear all the time. I have people around me, which I’ve let in my life and selfishly chosen to have, that push me and encourage me and believe in me and love me no matter what. And give me that tough love at times, without the need to kill my goals and dreams. I have the support of people around the world that see what I see in myself. I have no interest in being perfect or doing the norm, because that just doesn’t work with me. It makes me depressed and miserable. But I have insane amounts of heart and hope in me, I know that I am on the right path.

And when I start doubting this all, I know how hard I’ve worked to get where I am now and how far I am from what I’ve been. The less I listen to others and their two cents, the better I feel and closer to my goals I get. And I also know that if I need to ask someone if I’m on the right path, I know who to talk to. And they won’t sugarcoat the answer but be real with me. I might get hurt but at least I’m living the life I want for myself. I will struggle, but I rather struggle than not. That struggle has got me where I am now.

I understand and respect why some people feel how they feel of my choices, my history isn’t the brightest in that way. But in those moments I wish that they too could let go of the old and believe in what is happening now. I haven’t given up in so long time and I have no interest in giving up anymore. I did that for good 30 years. The majority of my life is in front of me and I am going to make the best of it. Jumping to the unknown like I have, loving with all my heart and more, keep being who I am and pushing on. And if I can help others while doing that, I am basically doing what I set out to do.

So what I am asking from those who are into doubting others, you don’t have to like what I am doing or someone else, but you do need to respect them enough to let them be them. Simply, you don’t have to like it or them, but you have to respect them. Or if you try to control them, you are just hurting yourself or becoming bitter because you didn’t do something you wanted. And that should never be the reason to kill someone else’s happiness and joy. Let people have their dreams and goals and go after them. Their happiness isn’t taking anything away from you. Try to find what really makes you happy and shine that light out! Negativity kills this all, so let’s stop that. With some good old fashion PMA (positive mental attitude) you get so much more out of yourself and your life. More love, more support, more YES!

PMA ❤